Breaking Up / Getting Back Together
If you’re like me, after being dumped, you want your ex back. You find yourself wondering if after breaking up, getting back together is possible. I want to let you know from personal experience that it absolutely is possible. Will it be easy? Probably not. But it is possible.
As long as the two of you have any feelings for each other after breaking up, getting back together is always a possibility. Notice I said any feelings. Even if the two of you are on very bad terms, fighting and claiming that you hate each other. The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. With some work, you can easily flip any emotion back to love.
You’ve got your work cut out for you, I must admit. Things are up in the air and your relationship is teetering on the razor’s edge between getting back together and splitting up forever. You’ll need to be very careful about how you proceed from here. After breaking up, getting back together takes a lot of self-control a planning on your part.
First, fight back every urge you have to call, email, text message, or otherwise bother your ex begging to get back together. Chances are, after breaking up, you are feeling very hurt, betrayed, and desperate to get back together. When you act from this frame of mind you will only hurt your chances. Your ex probably ended the relationship to get “space” and bombarding him with phone calls and the like is not giving him space. It will only push him farther away.
After a few weeks or a month without contacting him, whenever you feel the time is ready. Send out a quick and brief e-mail and just offer an honest and sincere apology for the things you did or didn’t do that may have contributed to the breakup. Relationships are a two-way street and in any breakup both people are at least partially responsible. If you don’t know how you might have contributed to the relationship ending, then you just need to spend some time thinking about it a little harder. Where you not supportive enough? Where you too critical?
After exchanging a message or two, suggest that the two of you meet up for lunch or coffee to catch up. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Act like you are just meeting up with an old friend you haven’t seen in a while. When you meet, keep things fun and light. Your goal is to get him to associate good feelings with you and remind him of all the happy times you’ve shared. Take it slow and don’t pressure him into getting back together yet.
If things go well at your first meeting, consider asking him out for a more conventional date. Something like a movie, dinner, or a show. After breaking up, getting back together will take some patience. Take things slowly like you would if you were dating someone new for the first time. Again, no serious stuff at this point, unless he brings it up. If things keep going well, keep going out on dates with your ex. Eventually he will remember all the reasons why he fell in love with you in the first place. Before you know it the two of you will be back together.
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